Hurtful

Man, I am such a hurtful person.

I can literally tear a friendship apart. only with words. I can hurt the person I care about most.

In 10 minutes a friendship of 4 years is burning into ashes. A best-friendship. and I feel horrible. The kind of horrible that makes you physically sick.

It is burning me from the inside out. If I could call them, I would. I would break all rules just to express how sorry I am. But I can't

My other friends tell me. If you can burn a friendship down that easy, then it was not a true friendship to begin with.

How is this possible? We shared our souls with each other.

Forever will I keep the piece of heart they left with me. While I assume the piece I left with them has now been rejected.

I do wonder.......are there any words in the world that could tell them how sorry I am? I guess not. would they listen? of course. they would yearn for the words that would heal their wounds. But would they believe them?

No.

Have I just been an idiot, writing and thinking about them.....just to find out they are pretty much ending everything?

I myself am hurt that we could be over in the blink of an eye.

.....

But I still have the true friends I care about that I can talk too....I mean, there is Adrienne, who I love dearly.
Bettina, Who knows just what to say all the time. Who, with words, can make anyone feel better
and Q, and Brian, and Andrew....and everyone that I have ever called friend! I have all these people as backup. all these people I love.
Then I have my family, whos bond is stronger than all the hard words in the world. I know they will always be looking out for me.

Clouds

Bettina Levy wrote the most beautiful poem I have ever read in my life! You have to get it to show it to you! and she has to figure out a way to copyright it! It is too beautiful to be stolen by someone else

Death

They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. They lied. What I saw was not the past, but the future. What could have been, what would have been, had my death not taken me away.

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These words came to me as I was sitting in a taxi that almost got sideswipped. Let me tell you, the story it inspired is grand.

Summery of Dreams

So, I just wanted to offer a heart felt Congratulations to both James Dashner and J. Scott Savage.

James Dashners book the Maze Runner seems to be getting enough attention - so that is pretty cool that he is now getting more national attention, if not maybe international. So congrats! seriously! I'm way excited for you! I sincerely wish you the best of luck!

Then there is

J. Scott Savage, Who has already written a myriad of many great and exciting books, and is currently working on about 4 projects at once! Let me tell you, from what I have heard they sound extremely promising! 2 extensions of previously existing series, and 2 totally new fresh ideas! I also wish you a lot of luck!
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So, I have a new companion now - He is WAY cool! Also, I'm now in the City - and may stay here until I leave. But its also exciting here, so I'm glad to stay.

Ideas for writing keep coming, and I keep writing them down. But to be honest, I myself am experiencing burn-out. I honestly and truly believe that what I write is not worth sharing at all. Not even a little.

I really don't want to go into it, but again I shared something with a friend only to have them pretty brutally attack it.

I'm losing faith in my own abilities. If 'friends' don't like it, then how will anyone else.

Besides, I really suck at storylines. and I want to write something really original, but it seems like everything I write reminds me of something else I have seen or heard or read.

Also, I keep getting these pretty annoying migrains. it feels like pressure against my brain. I've had it for like 2 years but have said nothing about it, but the other day it really hurt. I'm thinking its stress related. but man, its really hurting!

...yeah

So, the other day I had a dream about both Bettina and Brian. Turns out (in my dream) that they are actually siblings! How weird is that? But anyways, I was over at their house when they showed me this way awesome boardgame called Fire and Ice. It was kind of like chess/capture the flag, just different. you have this holographic board, and then the pieces. the pieces, like chess, can only move the ways they are designed. also, the board is like a chessboard in there are the spaces on the board - if you know what I mean.

But the really awesome part about the game is the board. the Fire and the Ice pieces do different things to it. Imagine a simple chessboard, where all of the squares are white. imagine that wherever a piece moves, it adds its element to that square (Lava for fire, Ice for ice). Imagine that the whole game revolves around your side trying to get to the opposites side and capture their flag and bring it back. but ice elements cant walk on fires turf, and vice verca. but the pieces themselves have certain abilities - like the ability to change the terrain, create temporary barriers, or in some cases, merge or devide into a single or more pieces.

However, like chess there is one really important piece to the game. The Capturer. There is only one piece that can capture the flag and bring it back. so of course while you are trying to fortify your own base, you are trying to delay or destroy the opposite sides Capturer.

It was such a fun game! however, the games usually lasted about an hour. and sorry Bettina, but Brain won both games you played.

It was such a fun dream! I wish the game was real, it was SO fun! but it had a ton of rules

Scorching hot!

Did anyone else notice this?

Link

Thats pretty cool!

Try the Soup

I opened the cupboard - only some Potatoes and Onions. Hm, what can I make with that? I walked over the cracked wooden floor to the fridge and pulled it open. Whats in here? Some cheese, some eggs and some ground meat soon became the objects of my close inspection. I peaked in the bag with the ground meat. I'm definitely not using that! I pulled out the cheese and eggs, both had passed my inspections. Along with the Potatoes. However the Onions were looking kind of old. I can make an omelet or something. I walked over to the cabinet.

Great, the frying pan is dirty again...and I don't want to clean it. I moved some of the dishes around until I found what I was looking for - a regular old pan. I guess I can boil the potatoes and put cheese on it. I filled the pan with water and put it on the boiler while I pealed and cut the potato into cubes. After a bit, when I was finished dicing everything in sight, I dumped in the potatoes. I sat back down and cut off a slice of cheese while I watched steam swirl from the surface.

We only have like 20 minutes....maybe I could just make some soup. I cut off a few more slices of cheese and added those to the mixture I was creating. I searched the cupboard looking for some seasoning other than salt. What is this? I pulled out a small wrapped cube. No way! Chicken soup mix! Its decided, soup it is!

I added the small cube and lazily stirred it around. nothing to do but wait for it to finally boil. I sat back down at the table where I had taken an old piano book and was exacto knifing out anything I found useful. Using a glue stick I carefully glued it into my notebook. There, now I can start learning the Piano, finally.

My missionary companion walked into the room.
"What is this?" he asked concerning the mess I had been happily making of the piano book.
"I'm summarizing the book. Everything I need to know." I replied not even looking at him, but checking the soup instead.
"Whatever, that's such a waste of time." With that he walked out of the room.
What do you consider a better use of time? Writing more letters to your girlfriend? I thought inside.
"Oh, and whatever you're making looks disgusting." he said from the other room.
Loser. What are you making again? Ramen?
I looked at the cup of ramen he had yet to cook and did not feel bad in the slightest when I slipped and accidentally sliced a small hole in the bottom of the container.

I went back and checked on the soup. It had nice little bubbles rising and popping on the surface. But it looked like it was missing something still. I looked around until my eyes landed on the 2 eggs I had pulled out of the fridge. Why not? What is there to lose?

I found a fork and a tall bowl and brought them over to the stove. I turned the bowl over and placed the fork on the edge, so the prongs hung over the soup. Then, taking a cup of water I weighed down the handle of the fork so it stayed in place. I went back, grabbed the eggs, and approached the stove again.

I've never actually done this before. But I've read about it. I cracked an egg and let it drip through the fork. carefully making sure it didn't all fall in at once. Then I did the same to the other. There, Egg Drop Soup! The soup smelled divine! The perfect mix of thrown together materials.

I took the hot mixture off the stove and carefully poured some into a bowl. I took a spoonful and blew on it to cool it off before tasting it. Amazing! Tastes like Chicken and Egg-Drop soup mixed into one! With some potatoes and a very very slight hint of the slice of cheese. Pretty good for something made using imagination, knowledge and luck!
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Just something I felt like writing. If you don't like it, don't leave a comment - I'm pretty fragile when sharing writing. ^.~ Just some fun when you have like nothing anywhere! I love writing stories in my mind about what I happen to be doing. and yes, this is pretty pathetic, but I don't feel like going through and making it correct, I'm just sharing an experience in story form. its funner than just saying "I made some interesting soup the other day."

~Jacoby

Note: For whatever really odd reason the hole accidentally made in the cup did not actually do anything! my only guess is a pea filled the hole or something - dang

Heather Christensen

Oh, no.........

One of my favorite teachers died in a car accident.....

Heather Christensen was one of my favorite teachers. She was kind and funny

I remember she took my class to see A Lion, A Witch, and A Wardrobe when it came out. She had us all read the book before we left. It was one of the best field trips ever.

I also remember her showing us the Phantom of the Opera, after we read the book of course. but she showed us the new version, and related to us how much she loved music.

My third and last cherished memory of her was this one day I was feeling really sad and lonely. She picked up on that pretty fast, and during lunch talked to me and let me tell her everything that was bothering me. Some kids were being pretty mean, and I told her about it. She was very compassionate and after listening gave me some great words of advice. She even took care of the problem by talking to the kids themselves.

I really loved her as a teacher, a person, and a mother - for all her students were close enough to be her children.

I really miss her, and love her dearly

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"Christensen died while attempting to save students on the bus by grabbing the steering wheel after the bus driver had an apparent medical episode, causing the bus to veer off the road.

Christensen dived for the wheel and tried to steer the bus back on course, but fell out a window as the vehicle rolled, Miller said.
"She loved her students, they were her life. I know she died trying to save them,""

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=8261859
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I wont even be there for her services......

Ms. Christensen, I'll miss you - you were a truly amazing person.....I'll really really miss you....