Hurtful

Man, I am such a hurtful person.

I can literally tear a friendship apart. only with words. I can hurt the person I care about most.

In 10 minutes a friendship of 4 years is burning into ashes. A best-friendship. and I feel horrible. The kind of horrible that makes you physically sick.

It is burning me from the inside out. If I could call them, I would. I would break all rules just to express how sorry I am. But I can't

My other friends tell me. If you can burn a friendship down that easy, then it was not a true friendship to begin with.

How is this possible? We shared our souls with each other.

Forever will I keep the piece of heart they left with me. While I assume the piece I left with them has now been rejected.

I do wonder.......are there any words in the world that could tell them how sorry I am? I guess not. would they listen? of course. they would yearn for the words that would heal their wounds. But would they believe them?

No.

Have I just been an idiot, writing and thinking about them.....just to find out they are pretty much ending everything?

I myself am hurt that we could be over in the blink of an eye.

.....

But I still have the true friends I care about that I can talk too....I mean, there is Adrienne, who I love dearly.
Bettina, Who knows just what to say all the time. Who, with words, can make anyone feel better
and Q, and Brian, and Andrew....and everyone that I have ever called friend! I have all these people as backup. all these people I love.
Then I have my family, whos bond is stronger than all the hard words in the world. I know they will always be looking out for me.