"So what? Does that matter? I'm a lot more things than gay."
I was a little bothered by this comment, as its usually my leading statement to those who i think are going to be unkind..
A few minutes later I heard her talking to a few other servers about how people make snap decision judgments about someone once they find out their gay. How they don't bother to get to know you, they just figure your gay and thats all they really need to know. She continued, but I had left by this point, choosing to ignore her words.
As I thought about this comments she made, I found myself in a spiral of depression and anger.
I wanted to go out there and tell her everything that was on my mind. I had known her for 2 months and hadn't known she was gay. I knew she is a teacher for a university, I knew she didn't like coffee, but liked hot tea. I knew she had 2 children, one with a serious drug problem. I knew she felt like she is ignored by other teachers, and that she was a server just for fun. I knew all of this before I knew she was gay. My first impression of her wasn't 'oh, your gay'. I got to know her as a mother, a teacher, and a friend.
I wanted to ask her what she knew about me. I decided when I went to work for Village Inn, that I wouldn't share my past. There have been a few times I've felt like giving out little hints, but other than that, I have kept everything a secret. I can recall everything I have ever told her. and the truth is, its not much. The most she knows about me is that I'm gay, and I live on my own.
Does she know that I want to become an author? Does she know that I have a rocky relationship with my parents? That I would love to learn to play the piano, or that I love collecting lanterns? Does she know anything about me other than the fact that I'm gay? I bet she couldn't even tell me what my favorite color was.
In the end I found myself very bothered by her comments. Judgmental herself at best, Hypocritical at worst.
1 comments:
Ah, a new post from Jacoby. Yay! ^,^
Hmm. I'm sorry you had such an encounter with that coworker. Definitely a little hypocritical there...
Once you learn a person is gay, it is certainly unfair to write them off as simply gay, as if that's what their whole life is about.
But it's also unfair, if you are gay and someone asks you about it, to assume that their intent is to write you off like that, and not simply to get to know you better. Not everyone is judgmental.
If I remember correctly, your fav color is blue, or perhaps silver. That's how well I know you. ^,~
Hope to read more from your blog soon.
Post a Comment